Hormonal mini meltdown
by RangerCraving
Summary: Steph is two days away from D-day. She's not feeling well, hormornal, and hurts the one she loves most. Babe fic. This is for fun only dealing with my own over-hormonal over-reaction to a RL situation!


**A/N This is for Kashy to thank her for her amazing friendship and leadership at BCRUS**…Proud of you always, Babe! Thank you for the safe Haven!

_Special thanks to Stayce for her brilliant ideas, insight, and editing. This story would not exist without you! Thank you for sharing your amazing gift with me!_

_And Kate (myminorobsession) You're the greatest, Babe. All my love, Lin!_

_Just a little babe one-shot for fun! I own nothing, make no money, and am borrowing the characers!_

_Warnings: Language only!_

I was standing at the kitchen counter when I felt a tingle at the back of neck. I turned as two strong arms came around me and pulled me against a warm solid body.

"Babe, why are you crying?"

"'Cause." My voice was whisper soft. Ranger tilted his head, his cheek rubbing against mine.

"Because why?"

"I can't tell you."

"Of course you can. You can tell me anything, Babe." The tears started coming faster at his gentle words.

"Ranger, you wouldn't understand." I felt him tense slightly as if my remark had hurt him, and the tears turned into snorting sobs. I threw my arms around a stunned Ranger and blurted it out. "I hurt him."

"You hurt who, Stephanie?"

"R-R-R-R-Rex."

"Rex?"

"Yes, Rexxxx. I hurt Rex. And now I hurt you. I'm a terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person. And you didn't hurt me. Steph, are you talking about the rat?" I nodded my head furiously against Ranger's chest. I felt him turn us toward Rex's cage so he could look over.

"Babe, he doesn't look hurt. As a matter of fact, I'd say he looks fine."

"I didn't physically hurt him. Geez, what kind of monster do you think I am?" I pulled back and gave Ranger a death glare. The tears were still rolling down my cheeks, and the front of his t-shirt was wet.

"Babe." Ranger had a puzzled look on his face.

"I hurt his feelings." The shock on Ranger's face was unprecedented. I'd finally broken through the barrier and stunned the unshakeable Batman. He was silent for 10 silent seconds before he threw his head back and laughed. I shoved out of his arms and stomped over to the couch.

"See, I told you, you wouldn't understand. I knew I shouldn't have said --" Covering my face with my hands, my words trailed off into silent weeping. I felt the cushion shift and Ranger's arms come around me.

"I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean to laugh at you."

"I hate you."

"You don't hate me."

"Do too.

"Do not." At that I heard Ranger sigh. I was turning him into a lunatic too.

"Babe, I understand that you love your hamster, but I seriously doubt that you hurt its feelings. I'm not even sure hamsters have feelings."

I gasped. "You are such a man! Of course he has feelings! God!" I pulled away from Ranger, got up and stormed to the bathroom. I grabbed a handful of tissue and blew my nose. I didn't care if it was loud and disgusting. I no longer cared what Ranger thought. He was an insensitive jerk.

I walked back into the living room, keeping my head down. "You can go now." Jerk. Jerk. Jerk. Okay, I didn't say it out loud, but it still made me feel better.

"Let me just ask you a question. What did you do to hurt Rex's feelings?" I didn't answer. I wasn't going to answer. I absolutely refused to answer.

"Babe?" I heard Ranger's deep sigh just before he got to me. His arms came around me again, and he placed a kiss on the top of my head.

"Don't worry, Steph, I'm sure the two of you will make up. You're buddies, right? Buddies always forgive each other." This was a beautiful sentiment, and I would have melted into a puddle if I hadn't felt Ranger's body shaking in silent laughter. Instead of making me angry, it just started the waterworks all over again. I heard Ranger's quietly whispered "Shit" and started crying harder. I couldn't help it. I was two days away from starting my period, I was tired, I didn't feel well, and I was embarrassed. The combination of emotions was making me crazy.

Ranger lifted me and sat with me on the couch. "Okay, Babe. I can see how serious this is. Tell me what you did to hurt Rex's feelings." I shook my head frantically, but Ranger wouldn't be denied. "I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"I forgot to buy him cedar chips for his cage like I promised. And then I yelled at him."

"You yelled at him?"

"Ye-Ye-Yesss."

"I see. What did you say?" I peeked at Ranger's face to see if he was making fun of me. He had his blank look on, but at least he wasn't laughing at me anymore.

I buried my face in Ranger's neck. "He was looking at me in that way he has that tells me that I let him down. I felt guilty and cranky and so I yelled at him. I told him he was a rotten roommate anyway; he doesn't keep the crazies out of my apartment, he bites me when I try to hold him, and he gives me this look when I forget his stupid cedar chips." Ranger was suspiciously quiet for a few minutes.

"Is that it?"

"I yelled it, Ranger. I was mean to him."

"How do you know you hurt his feelings?"

"He looked so sad. And now he won't even look at me!" I wailed.

Even through my hysterics a part of me had to give Ranger points for remaining so calm and not bolting for the door. "What do you mean, he won't look at you?"

"Every time I walk up to his cage, he turns his back on me. When I turn the cage around or walk around the other side, he runs to the opposite corner and turns his back on me. He hates me now!" My last comment came out on a pathetic moan.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Does too."

"Does not. Shit." I could sense Ranger was losing his patience, but I was beyond caring. I felt him take a slow, even breath. "Babe, is there something more going on here that I need to know about?"

"No."

"Are you sure? You seem to be a little -- um -- emotional today."

"Of course I'm emotional. I hate hurting someone I love. I hate hurting anyone. It's the worst thing in the world for me." I was crying so hard now I was nearly hyperventilating. Ranger stood with me in his arms and carried me into the bathroom. After sitting me on the side of the tub, he handed me some tissues. I watched silently as he wet a washcloth. He squatted down and began gently wiping my face. When he was done, he reached up and tucked a wet curl behind my cheek.

"Okay, Babe, I want you to wait in here. I'm going to fix this."

"You are?"

"I am. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Just stay here and try to relax. Okay?"

"'Kay." I sniffled into the tissue. Every time I tried to take a deep cleansing breath, I sounded like the kids you hear in the store when their parents spank them; long broken breaths that hitched and made me feel even more foolish.

Now that I was calming down, I could feel my face get hot with embarrassment. I reached up and slapped my hand to my forehead before I realized that I had a headache. I hate crying. It pisses me off. All it accomplishes is a blotchy face, a headache and a snotty nose. And now I had to go out and face Ranger and try to explain that my mini meltdown was most likely hormonal. Perfect. Great. Terrific.

I got up and started into the living room. The sight in front of me stopped me in my tracks. Ranger was holding Rex in the palm of his hand and had the hamster raised up so that they were face to face.

"Okay, you little rodent, you're going to listen to me or I'm going to wring your neck. Now, here's what you're going to do. You're going to look at her, right in the eye, and you're going to knock this shit off. I don't care if she forgot your stupid wood chips, and I don't care that she yelled at you. You are going to suck it up and look at her or I'm going to find the biggest alley cat in Trenton and give him a snack. Do you understand me? You would be wise to do what I ask. You have no idea what I've done to humans who've hurt your roommate. " I looked at Rex and hurried toward man and hamster. I knew Ranger would never hurt Rex, but I also recognized that look.

"Ah, Ranger, Rex doesn't like to be held."

"Let me handle this, Babe." And that's when it happened. One second Ranger was trying to intimidate Rex, the next second he was trying to remove Rex's teeth from his hand.

Ranger sucked in a breath. "Fuck. You little bastard."

I felt a bubble of laughter in my chest. "Don't pull at him like that. It just makes him bite down harder."

"Yow!" The giggle escaped before I could stop it. I don't know where it came from, but I was powerless to stop it. Hearing Ranger say yow was too much to bear.

"Shit! Stephanie, if this little bas -- Rex doesn't let go, I'm going to hurt more than his feelings." I ran over and grabbed a hold of Rex. The minute I ran my hand over him and cupped him in my palm he opened his mouth and let go. I quickly put him back in his cage and closed the door.

I kept my back to Ranger, trying to stop smiling. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with laughter. I bent over at the waist, holding my sides. When I heard the door shut smartly behind me, I slid down to the floor. Okay, I knew it was rude, I knew he was embarrassed, and I knew there would be a price to pay. And probably I should be worried about hurting Ranger's feelings, but the indignant look on his face when Rex bit him was priceless. I finally got back to my feet and looked into the cage. Rex was looking right at me, causing me to smile even wider. I'd saved him from big bad Ranger. I was his hero!

An hour later I was back from the store. The whole time I was putting cedar chips in the cage, Rex watched me. "You're such a good boy, Rex. I'm sorry I yelled at you. You're the best roommate ever. You never judge me, you keep me company, and you bit that bully Ranger when he tried to tell you what to do. You are so smart. You are such a great roommate. You're better than a cat or dog any day. There, all done." I threw in a couple of grapes and a baby carrot for good measure and felt content when Rex grabbed them one by one and took them into his can.

And then he ran back out and watched me.

When I went about microwaving myself some mac and cheese for dinner, Rex watched me. As I loaded the dishwasher, Rex watched me. Two hours later I was curled on the couch drinking a beer and watching Ghostbusters. At the prickly sensation on the back of my neck I peered over the couch and looked right into a pair of gleaming eyes. Rex was watching me. Uncomfortable, I turned off the TV., threw away my empty bottle and started back toward my bedroom. The whole time I could feel Rex watching me.

I laid in bed for over an hour, and I swear I could feel eyes on me. When I got up to get a drink of water at midnight, I had had enough. I ran back into my bedroom, slammed the door and picked up my cell phone. Holding my breath, I hit speed dial.

"Yo." I tried to ignore the huskiness of Ranger's voice that told me he was in bed, warm and -- "Babe."

"Ranger, you have to come over here and talk to Rex." I heard the phone disconnect. This time I punched at the buttons.

"Yo." Ranger and I had come too far and I was way too spooked to be intimidated by the fact that he was pissed.

"Don't hang up. I'm serious. Rex is freaking me out. Everywhere I walk he stares at me. The minute I walk into the room, he runs out of his can and follows me with his eyes. It's creepy."

"So go to bed."

"I tried that. It didn't work. I can feel him watching me sleep."

"Try closing the bedroom door."

"Ranger."

"Stephanie, Rex is in a cage in the kitchen."

"It doesn't matter. I swear he's staring holes through my bedroom wall."

"Fuck."

"Please."

"Just so you know, Babe, if I get up and drive all the way over there, I'm not driving back tonight, so you better make room in your bed." Before I could think of a response Ranger disconnected. Yikes! Okay, one problem at a time, Stephanie.

I walked back out of the bedroom and looked over at the cage. The light from the oven hood in the kitchen illuminated two little beady eyes, giving them a reddish glow. I jumped back and closed my door.

Fifteen minutes later I heard the tumble of my locks and the security chain swinging. I opened the bedroom door and peeked through the crack. Ranger barely made a sound as he stalked over to Rex's cage and leaned down to look nose to nose at the hamster.

"Stop staring at her!" Ranger growled. I bit my lip to keep from snickering. I tiptoed into the room to get a better look. For that one second in time I froze in my steps as Rex lifted his paw. I know he was probably just scratching his ear, but I swear it looked like he was saluting Ranger. And then Rex turned his head in my direction, twitched his whiskers, and scurried into his can. Wow, Ranger really was magic. The smile that was on my face began to fade as Ranger walked to the door. I watched him flip the deadbolt and slide the chain back into place. He slowly turned toward me, his eyes locking on mine before traveling down over my pink tank top and boxers.

"Ready for bed, Babe?"

Omigod! Well, I had known there would be a price to pay for me laughing at Ranger, and it was such a small price to pay, really. After all, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Hurting someone's feelings is the worst thing in the world for me.

_rangercraving_

_The End!!_


End file.
